43/47

Featured in 9th Annual San Diego Film Awards (2023)

Scenario

The story of three young girls trying to stick together as they get trapped in a sea cave filled with crashing waves, hundreds of sea lions, and monstrous elephant seals.. I see that half of the reviewers rated the film as it deserves, that is a little more than zero.

(I have no idea who this family is)

So I wouldn't have added another similar review and rating, but - you know - I just couldn't help.This is "A Schmidt Family Film", as we read in the credits. The film is screenwritten and directed by Ann-Marie and Brian Schmidt, and its three major actresses are the little girls Avila Shmidt, Scarlet Schmidt, and Autumn Fiore (whose last name is also Schmidt).I see also that 51,1 % of the voters on IMDb (it's 24 people, so far), rated the film a 10/10: I wonder if all these people's last name is Schmidt.

ButBut there is no plot whatsoever

That would be "A Schmidt Family Rating".As you can easily ascertain - if you can afford to waste something less than 2 hours of your life -, "The Island of Lost Girls" has very very little to share with what everybody - for something more than a century, now - agrees in calling "cinematic work". Yes, stock film (more probabily digital pixels) has been used (and wasted); yes, there are images in movement.

And no more

The three little (and probably endagered, as a previous review suggested) actresses, as protagonists, struggle incessantly, from the beginning to the end, to save their lives from very unrealistic and highly elusive dangers. Sometimes some tricks pertaining to the most uncontrolled times of the slapstick comedy of the 1910's are used, but with far less effectiveness.Watch some Fatty Arbuckle instead.